I am puke
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
