i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
