yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
