Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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