FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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