a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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