we should wear snuggies to the strip club
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
