...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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