I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
