Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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