I like to think it a success when the cops are called
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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