We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
