yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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