oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
