smell my finger.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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