I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
