I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
