cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
