someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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