I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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