I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
