Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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