Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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