HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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