She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
