are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
