Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
