You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
