It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
