I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
