I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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