WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
