I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
