It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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