Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
