I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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