And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
