i jhust puked up my retainher.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
this hospital has no fireball
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
