Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize