Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
