Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
