Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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