UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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