you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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