iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
