well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
