Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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