So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
