i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
