shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
