I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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