that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think people are normalizing furries
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
